There are books I return to again and again, for reference, to give to clients, and to spark my own thinking about resolving conflict. These five books belong on every freelancer’s bookshelf because they speak to the creative spirit, are practical even while artful, and offer a transformative power between their covers.

The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life

by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander

This book will speak to the soul of every creative freelancer. The husband and wife team, one a psychologist and the other a philharmonic conductor, share moving and hopeful stories and simple mindsets for facing difficulties and finding possibility in them. I’ve read this book multiple times and it still makes me laugh, cry, and think deeply about relationships at work and home. Everyone I’ve given it to has read it, then gone out and purchased copies to give as gifts.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

by Doug Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen

These authors have taken a big subject–difficult conversations at home and work–and distilled it down to a digestible set of approaches for preparing and having the important conversations that are a source of stress in our lives. After their first encounter with the book’s wisdom, most people tell me there are more gems in it than they can digest in one read, so it’s perfect as an occasional reference after you’ve finished reading. I recommend it as joint reading for a long car ride with your partner.

Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way

by Rick Carson

Now considered a self-help classic, this book takes you on a journey through a different kind of conflict: your inner conflict with yourself. Filled with wonderful line drawings to supplement the text, it’s an unforgettable and fun little manual for, as the cover says, “banishing the nemesis within.”

Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation

by William Ury

Though this book’s sister and predecessor, Getting to Yes, is more famous, I think this is the better of the two because it’s specifically written to help you negotiate with tough clients you find stubborn, irritating, and adversarial. Ury’s a master at distilling complex theory and practice into bite-size methods that anyone can master and this book’s worth a periodic re-read.

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts

by Robert Bolton

This book’s been through countless editions and re-issues because it’s a perennial favorite of folks all over the world. This communication handbook has a practical orientation that makes it immediately useable and his methods are tried and true. I’ve been told by many that his section on assertiveness is one of the best folks have ever read.

Do you have a favorite book on difficult conversations, negotiation or conflict resolution? Drop me a note and let me know all about it.

Keep the channels open,
Tammy

Dr. Tammy Lenski | Mediator, Executive Coach, Business Development Consultant
I Can’t Say That! | Lenski Strategic | BoDo Author | Creative Conversations

Do you have a client conflict or difficult situation question you’d like Tammy to address in a future post? Just drop her a line.