Imagine this: Your client has emailed with a request that’s not really part of the contract. Perhaps it’s not even the first time this has come up with this particular client. What will you say in your reply email?

While email has become an important business communication tool, it’s not a particularly effective vehicle for a conflict conversation yet. While email isn’t really creating new conflict, it does tend to exacerbate it. For instance, research has shown that:

• In email communication, we tend to share far less information about a topic than when we talk in person or by telephone. The resulting limited knowledge sharing can reduce understanding when we need it most.
• When information is shared electronically, it’s more likely to be exaggerated or altered. Difficult conversations are difficult enough without more exaggeration!
• Email negotiations are more likely to degenerate into an unpleasant exchange than face-to-face encounters, and more quickly. It appears that people are more willing to escalate conflict when conversing electronically than they are when they are physically together.
• Email is used more readily to make unpopular requests and avoid confronting in person (thus your client’s email request, right?) Using email to deal with unpleasant business from a distance is called the Coward’s Choice.
• Email can increase inadvertent prejudice for women and people of color by feeding a recipient’s preconceptions. “A misspelling in a black colleague’s e-mail may be seen as ignorance, whereas a similar error by a white colleague might be excused as a typo,” according to a recent article in the Christian Science Monitor.
• Email recipients tend to overestimate their ability to correctly decode feelings the sender was trying to convey. Researchers believe it’s because people are egocentric—we assume others experience stimuli the same way we do.

So, back to the email from your client. What’s the best response, in light of research and good conflict management practice?

Hello there, Client. I want to confirm I’ve received your request and I think I can best serve you and your project if we talk a bit more about it directly. If you’d like to suggest a time I call, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll plan ring you up later today. Looking forward to our chat,
You

And a last note. Have you heard for the “tweaking cc”? It’s the open copying of an email message to someone the sender believes has power over or influence on the recipient. A tweaking cc is a quick way to alienate the primary recipient. Find out why in my article, Beware the Tweaking CC.

Keep the channels open,
Tammy

Dr. Tammy Lenski | Mediator, Executive Coach, Business Development Consultant
I Can’t Say That! | Lenski Strategic | BoDo Author | Creative Conversations

Do you have a client conflict or difficult situation question you’d like Tammy to address in a future post? Just drop her a line.