Posted by: Neil Tortorella
Category: Marketing Minute
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Neil Tortorella

Here at the Marketing Minute, you may have noticed the suspect absence of a key marketing activity – networking. Why, you ask? Well, like a lot of designers out there, it’s not one of my favorite things. But, none the less I do it.

Most extroverted folks are great at networking events. They’re all bubbly, chatty and such. They make us introverted folks cringe sometimes.

Me, an introvert?

Yup, ‘fraid so gang. I’ve always been a bit shy, even way back in the dark ages when I was but a mere kidlet. Yet, I don’t have any problem with public speaking – the task that rates higher than death on the “Stressful things to do” list. I’m also the guy who starts up the conversation when nobody else will at a club lunch. Go figure.

How did I deal with being a happy introvert in the business world? Easy. I married an extrovert who also was my business partner. She was (and is) probably one of the best sales people I’ve ever met. She can still fire up a comfy conversation with anyone.

Then, I got divorced. Ut oh …

I found myself sitting on the couch in my nifty new apartment one evening after a workday, thinking, “Gee … what do I do with myself now?” I needed to figure out how I was going to get out there and all chummy with new prospects.

Here’s what I did. Odds are, it will work for all you other card-carrying introverts out there, too.

I found the best extrovert I knew and did what he did. I acted “as if.” “As if” I was a chatty type and “as if” I was a public speaker. And guess what? It worked. And, it wasn’t too tough, either.

Simply acting as if you where a dynamic networking mogul can get you over the hump and learn the skills. When you’re in a situation, just think, “What would [insert extrovert du jour] do or say?” Picture your extrovert model person in your seat and just do and say as you believe they would. That might sound like a big lull in the conversation’s looming, but not really. Odds are you’ve seen your model in the same or similar situation and your brain will work pretty quick.

But what if you screw up and say or do something stupid? So what? It’s important to remember that everybody does or says something stupid at times. We’re all human. I usually try to say something funny and call attention to my idiotic faux pas. We all have a good laugh and move on with things. It’s important not to take ourselves too seriously at times.

Here’s a case in point. It wasn’t a major knee-slapper, but it’s stuck in my memory for about 30 years. A good bud of mine, and also a brilliant sales guy, was at the checkout counter at a drugstore with me. He pulled out his wallet and all his dough fell out onto the floor. Without so much as a pregnant pause, he said, “Oh geez, what a vulgar display of wealth.” Everybody around cracked up.

After a while it gets easier and soon you find yourself being comfortable in situations that used to terrify you. You might even find you look forward to them.

If you need some more ammo, read, How To Quick-Start Networking Conversations, by Ilise Benun on RainToday.com (a great site about marketing services, by the way).

So, go forth and network, acting “as if” and release the happy extrovert living inside of you.


Until the next
Marketing Minute
all the best,
nt

This post went live on November 1st, 2007. You can follow responses via our comments feed. To keep up with BoDo, subscribe for updates by email, the BoDo feed and/or sign up for our Newsletter.

Comments to this post:

Comment: Dani Nordin says

I think, too, that the thing about networking is that it gets much easier the more you do it. You get into a rhythm, learning what you’re looking for and how to get it. As a former theatre major and certified extrovert, I found that I had no problem starting the conversation with people, but I needed to know my motivation - if I didn’t know what I was there for (beyond “to find people who will pay me”), I couldn’t connect. But the moment I set an intention and made almost a mini-script in my head for the night, I was golden.

1st November 2007 Quote

Comment: Australia’s Public Speaking Coach says

HI,

I can completely understand where you are coming from as an introvert who LOVES public speaking!

The thing to understand is that Introversion has nothing to do with shyness. Shyness is a ‘fear’ of public situations, and this is not what we introverts have. (I say ‘fear’ in inverted commas as it is not the same as agrophobia which is a sever fear of public situations.)

Rather, what we introverts have is a desire to experience the situation ‘in our heads’. That is we would rather sit back and look at what is going on as opposed to the Extrovert who wants to go out and make the scene. This is nothing to do with Shyness. This is why you are able to copy someone and mimic their behaviour quite easily and do some public speaking and actually enjoy it.

You are not shy, just a fully functioning introvert!

Cheers

Darren Fleming
http://www.executivespeaking.com.au

3rd November 2007 Quote

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