Wait…wait…what exactly do you think you’re doing there?

Okay, stop. Just…just stop…step away from the Microsoft WordArt toolbar right now.

I mean it.

That’s right. Put the mouse down, buddy. Now what exactly were you trying to do here?

You’re trying to show me how this brochure should look? Wow. Okay…I can accept that. I get the idea. But if I recall right, I left a proof of the brochure on your desk a week ago. You were supposed to get back to me about this because it was vital and super important.

Yeah — that folder there…the one that your coffee cup’s sitting on. No, under the book. To your left. Your left. Your other left. Yes.

You didn’t like it? Is that it? You…you didn’t like it? Can I ask why?

“It’s not purpley enough?” That’s your answer to the question as to why you didn’t like it, and why it’s been a coffee cup parking lot for a week? “You just don’t like it?”

I’m sorry — lemme pick my jaw up off the floor for a second. It’s probably over here next to the other three proofs I left on your desk. Okay…I’m back.

Now…you don’t like it and it’s not ‘purpley’ enough…anything else?

It doesn’t have the photos you want on it…okay…which photos?

The ones you have on your camera…at home…that I’ve never seen nor heard of until now…right.

Okay. Well - you go ahead and get me those photos and I’ll see what I can do about the “purple issue.”

Oh, you DO have the photos? Oh good! Well that saves some time.

They’re on your phone. Your camera phone. And they’re 1 inch wide by 1 inch tall. And you want them to be 4×6 inches each.

*sigh

Okay. I tell you what. Because you’ve asked for the impossible, and you want it yesterday, and you want me to read your mind, I’m going to save myself the hassle of designing and beat you to death with this imitation leather chair in your office. I’m killing you with this chair because it’s cheap, tacky and disposable, and therefore your equal in many respects.

Please don’t scream…it’s demeaning. And nobody will hear your feeble cries for help because they’re all wearing headphones to drown out those phone calls you make where you bray about your colonoscopy and just how BIG that probe was.

I’m sorry it had to come to this, really I am. But honestly, ‘purpley’ isn’t even a word, and this is the third time you’ve used it. I’ll make you a deal though; if any of the welts I’m going to leave are the right shade of ‘purpley,’ you can take a photo with your camera phone and I’ll try to get that blown up to a usable size.

See how well things go when we communicate? Now stop dodging me…this is a small office and you’re an easy target…

Thomas (Tom) Stephan | Director of Something Clever
BoDo Author | Dyer Straits | Working Pro bono

Anyone that has worked for themselves can work for someone else. The key is to find the right someone else. Soulless corporate cube farms and meatgrinder ad agencies are not it. The right company for you is one that gives you many of the same benefits of working on your own, while also giving you the benefits of working with a team.

The first, and most important thing to look for is entrepreneurialism. You are an entrepreneur. If you’re going to work for someone, they have to be one too. Your new job has to be with a company that has big ideas and the will to make them reality. Look for a company that is growing, that puts real money behind new projects and new opportunities. Smaller companies by default have to grow, but you can find big companies that believe in taking risks. No one working at Google or Apple would complain they don’t try new things.

The second thing to look for is flexibility. If you’ve gotten used to coming and going whenever you please, you’re not going to have an easy time adjusting to a 9 to 5 schedule. Most creative departments will allow some degree of flexibility, ask about this up front. You don’t need total freedom, but being able to shift some hours around is a must.

Finally, you need to find a company that has a loose hierarchy. You’ve been your own boss. You can handle someone else being your boss. But you might not be able to handle 37 layers of management between you and your boss. There are plenty of companies with flat or loose organizations that will let you talk directly to whoever’s in charge, instead of going through an army of business drones. This is another area where small companies shine, but I’ve seen huge, multi-million dollar corporations that have flat creative departments that are completely isolated from the corporate structure.

It takes a bit of looking, but you really can find a full-time job that is creative, engaging and challenging, that doesn’t drain your soul and leave you lifeless and grey. Many small companies are good fits for solo designers. A few large companies are too. As long as you pick a company that fits the way you work instead of forcing yourself to work in a way that doesn’t fit you, you’ll do fine.

Until the next
Cube 2.0,
Josh

Josh Jeffryes | Graphic Designer | Technologist | Organizer, St. Louis Design Meetup
Jeffryes Design | On Design | St. Louis Design Meetup | BoDo Author | Cube 2.0

*sigh…Okay…I’ll try to explain it again…

What part of deadline are you unsure of?

Really? I’m wondering. Because you come to my cubicle, you ask for something beautiful, readable, understandable, and then I say “It will take two weeks if you can get me the info by Monday.”

MONDAY.

YES, the MONDAY that just passed a week ago.

And I appreciate the ‘gift’ of 90 percent of the information on that MONDAY DEADLINE. I do. I’m not being ungrateful here. But 90 percent is another way of saying “I am crippling you from doing your job.”

I needed that 10 percent of information from you. I needed it MONDAY. On the DEADLINE.

Oh, wait…what was that? You’re sure I can get it in there? Really? Well, as it turns out, I can get it in there. Yup. No problem. But your two weeks have already turned into three weeks.
Calm down. Calm Down…Calm the *&@* down!

I said two weeks if you can get me the info by Monday. It’s now TEN days since the deadline.

Ten Days.

Yes. Yup. Ten.

No, it will not arrive a week before September the First. Because August the 22nd is six working days from September the first and the printer needs 7-10 working days.

Okay, let me back up and do this very slowly so you get this: You turn in data. I put it on paper, send to printer.
Printer say ten days.
You whine like beyotch and drag feet.
I scream.
I drag info from you slowly and painfully like back alley abortion.
After i send to printer you try to change info.

NO.
BAD.

Don’t make me have to kill you, man. Proof does NOT mean “Last chance to change everything.” Proof means “last chance to fix the one error 400 people missed.”

What?

*sigh…Okay…I’ll try to explain it again…

until the next
Dyer Straits
Tom

Thomas (Tom) Stephan | Director of Something Clever
BoDo Author | Dyer Straits

The editors of HOW magazine have assembled a powerhouse line-up of today’s hottest art directors, creative managers and industry experts for the 2007 In-HOWse Designer Conference — September 9-11 at the Hyatt Regency Austin, Texas.

It’s the business event for in-house creative managers you can’t miss — 3-days packed with intense workshops, professional advice, creative rejuvenation, and even a little group therapy.

Registration is now open at www.inhowseconference.com. Last year’s event sold out quickly, so be sure to sign up right away to reserve your spot.

You’ll enjoy exciting, inspiration-filled sessions from a select panel of experts, each with their own unique background. They’ll share what’s worked for them and what hasn’t, and identify best practices on everything from rediscovering “play” in the workplace to refining your operational processes.

You’ll network with hundreds of your peers all facing similar in-house challenges and identify methods for balancing your multiple roles. And you’ll leave feeling revived with all the insight you need to build and manage a creative team that’s downright indispensable to your company.

It’s going to be a real lifesaver.

Don’t miss out on this one-of-a-kind business conference. Registration is now open, and super easy with our secure on-line form at www.inhowseconference.com. Plus, we’re offering deep discounts for 3 or more registrants from the same company.

Don’t delay … register yourself (and your co-workers) today.
www.inhowseconference.com.

Possibly the greatest advantage of running your own shop is you get to choose who you work with. You’re never in a situation where you might lose your job if you say the wrong thing, hold the wrong opinion, or belong to the wrong group too publicly. You’re the one that does the hiring and firing, and the worst that can happen is you have to fire someone else.

Working for someone else is entirely different. Unless you’re very lucky, you’re going to be working people that don’t have the same opinions, beliefs, or backgrounds as you. They may violently disagree about anything from American Idol to the afterlife to the local mayor to the proper way to blow your nose. At any time, what you thought was an innocent conversation can wander into a minefield of undiscovered disagreement, risking explosions that can destroy team unity and leave long-festering wounds.

How do you avoid tripping over someone else’s personal issues? I have a few suggestions that can help you stay away from invisible hot buttons and prevent a total workplace meltdown:

• Stick to Business: Talk about the work, never your private life, except in the vaguest way. Discussing what you do outside of work leads to talking about activities that others may find problematic, not to mention your membership in clubs, religions, political parties and other areas of conflict.
• Dance Like the Wind: When a coworker stumbles into a controversial topic, remain as vague and noncommittal as possible. Answer everything with content-free affirmations like “that’s interesting” and “I guess you could say that.” If your fellow employee possesses more awareness than a houseplant, they’ll take the hint.
• Play the Opinion Card: If you’re cornered, and have to make a concrete statement you know someone else is opposed to, follow with “but that’s just my opinion.” It gives the other person permission to pretend you don’t really believe that, and do not require them to hate you.
• No Validation: If you simply cannot get through life without having those around you validate your personal beliefs, then an office environment is not for you. Either find some company that only hires people that think the same way you do, or go back to being your own boss.

There are a lot of benefits to working with other people: friendship, support, the ability to tackle larger projects, a steady paycheck. Those benefits come with a price, and part of that price is leaving your ego and your personal issues at the door. If you can do that, and you can avoid trouble with coworkers that can’t, you can survive and flourish as part of a team.

Until the next
Cube 2.0,
Josh

Josh Jeffryes | Graphic Designer | Technologist | Organizer, St. Louis Design Meetup
Jeffryes Design | On Design | St. Louis Design Meetup | BoDo Author | Cube 2.0

Please give a warm welcome to Josh Jeffryes

Introducing Cube2.0

Josh has gone the business route, tasted the waters, then happily signed on to work in-house with a small web development company in St. Louis. His many experiences (past and present) will be invaluable to our readers. To help those who are a bit technophobic, Josh will also touch on how interactive technologies are transforming our businesses.

If there’s one common theme running through the designers on BoDo’s visiting author’s roster, it’s the personal involvement in helping the industry. It shouldn’t really be a surprise, as being a team member on BoDo is yet another way of contributing. As the organiser of the St. Louis Graphic Design Meetup (5th largest design Meetup group in the world), Josh fits right in.

Josh, thank you for joining BoDo. Your experience will go a long way in helping round out the team.

And before we forget to mention, your diddles ROCK!

The BoDo Team
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Creativity vs. wages and benefits

Nearly all of my design career has been working as an in-house designer. I was a single mom for quite some time, so I depended on a regular paycheck and benefits provided by in-house jobs. Not that I haven’t dreamed of being my own boss!

However, I was not born with the entrepreneurial gene. Neither of my parents were entrepreneurial, nor was I particularly exposed to anyone who was, and the business of design wasn’t taught in schools I attended. I was also frightfully shy and for the longest time had no clue nor any talent at marketing myself. To me, it felt as if I were bragging, which was SO uncomfortable to me.

I also know myself well enough to recognize that I need to be around other people; I need to know where I’m going to be each day, and I need stimulation. Otherwise, it is very easy for me to crawl into a shell and hibernate. If I isolate myself, it only compounds the problem. Thus, due to financial and security reasons, plus knowing my own personality, I determined that in-house jobs are better suited for me.

In-house jobs, I have learned over the years, offer their own pros and cons. It seems to often come down to a matter of creativity vs. wages and benefits. Jobs with financial institutions and large corporations have the backbone and infrastructure to support higher wages and better benefits. However, the more corporate the setting often means that the work you do is limited in scope of creativity and in breadth of expertise. You find yourself doing the same thing over and over and over… which can really start to stifle one and cause one to stagnate unless you take on freelance jobs or your own creative projects just for fun to feed those creative juices and to exercise new skills. There is also the chance that you work with a large number of people who do not understand nor appreciate the intricacies of good design. If it’s a very large corporation, chances are good that they have a significant and highly professional graphic department.

Or, if it’s a smaller corporation that has the bare-bone minimal graphic department, the designers tend to work more directly with non-design staff. This can prove to be very challenging, especially when any design that isn’t centered and as large as possible (type from edge to edge), simply sends the non-designer into a massive anxiety attack because the world is not symmetrical, centered and big. Some people find anything that deviates from their perceived universe to be downright wrong, even evil (grin).

Once upon a time, I worked for a financial institution as one of their in-house graphic designers. The pay was excellent, we had great benefits, and we had short work weeks. But the work itself was pretty dull… lots of graphs, charts and a preponderance of text and forms… all with the same clichéd themes. For a short time, we had a marketing director who wore nothing but gold… lots of gold jewelry, gold shoes and purse, gold clothes; even gold hosiery. She had a difficult time understanding why it was not the best idea to have gold architectural columns on every page. Stuff like that can make you crazy.

Next, I was hired with a creative design firm that dealt with architectural elements. It was like a dream come true… however, I had to take a significant pay cut (with the promise of a raise within a few months). That was painful, but I was so excited about being around creatives who understood and demanded good design. Indeed, this is a firm that is absolutely design-driven. I was in heaven. I had a wider range of projects, and they were projects I would be proud to show and proud to be a part of. There was still the issue of all the work having the same corporate standards and look, but at least it was a very respectable standard. With a design firm that also involves manufacturing production, cash flow presented challenges. And, because they are so design driven, I, the sole graphic designer, was designing the graphics for every minute detail. I had people and projects coming at me from all sides.

I worked much longer hours, was paid less, and found a much higher rate of micro-management throughout the company. The personalities were fun and flamboyant, but also unpredictable and volatile. And, the lower wages created a greater stress in my personal life. When you’re struggling to make ends meet and working your tail off, it deflates your morale and makes you feel miserable, no matter how good the design might be, if you’re worrying about every penny.

After being immersed in the corporate work environment for 15 years, it starts to wear thin; I find myself wanting more variety, more freedom, more creativity. Along the way, I have learned more about the business side of being creative, but will I ever feel confident enough to take off on my own? I like to think that someday I will be confident and savvy enough. Someday. In the meantime, I keep grinding away in the corporate world. It’s been good to me and I have made a lot of friends and gained a lot of experience.

Alina Hagen | Visual Communication Designer
Alina Design | Creative Latitude | BoDo Author | Alina’s In-sights

It’s early days yet, but we’re nosy. We want to know more about BoDo’s readers.

You’ll find the poll on the homepage. Just to your left on the sidebar (under the search). If you’d let us know your experience level, that’d be grand.

Below is the selection on offer. If you feel we’ve left one out, let us know by adding yours to the comments.

How Experienced Are You?

• Basic photoshop, illustrator, etc., skills
• A few design courses under the belt
• Enrolled full time or part time in a design school
• Design grad, some professional experience
• Self taught, one to two years in the business
• Design grad, one to two years in the business
• Self taught, two to four years in the business
• Design grad, two to four years in the business
• In-house designer thinking about taking the leap
• Design grad, four plus years in the business
• Self taught, four plus years in the business

The results will be posted at the end of the BoDo Niblets: Starting Out and Setting Up Series. In roughly about two weeks. Or so.

Thanks for your support,
The BoDo Team
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