My God, the Internet is really big.

I mean, naturally we all know that The Internet is a worldwide, publicly accessible network of interconnected computer networks that transmit data by packet switching using the standard Internet Protocol (IP), but really, folks…do you REALLY know what it is?

Yesterday, while ripping the paragraph you just suffered through on Wikipedia, I just found out the Internet and the World Wide Web are not the same thing. That’s just mind-blowing to me. And then I started thinking about all the stuff I’m vaguely sure I know absolutely nothing about.

Here’s a short list:

1. E-mail - How DOES it get from America to Thailand? How can I NOT be paying for that?
2. https:// - (how can adding the ’s’ make my data secure from theft? I mean, I’m sure there’s some big technology behind it, but really, it makes me think of the guy who put on a Superman shirt and then promptly shot himself, thinking the “S” would protect him.
3. Girls.
4. Why a web page built for Internet Explorer looks TOTALLY different on Firefox, Safari and everybody else’s computer. I thought it was all built on the same thing. You build a chair out of wood, following the right directions. That chair will look the same even if those directions are Japanese or English.
5. Why, when I print something out from the Web, does it cut the edge off the page? PDF files shrink to fit, why not Web Pages?

The list goes on and on. If I was dropped on a desert island and asked to explain the Internet, I’d be eaten by the natives LONG before I started making sense (primarily because I’m a big tasty fat *$^#, but I digress).

But I’ve got a Master’s Degree! And I’ve been working in print and graphics and journalism for ten years! I’m not stupid…I’m just not capable of comprehending things that have NO possible way of reaching my own experience.

Yes, It’s true that I could take a class on such things, or look it up on the Web (oh the IRONY!) But even then, my understanding will be limited to how I can parse that information through things that I already know. For example, I have a friend whose job is finding oil under the ocean floor using satellite-guided sensor technology so advanced that it requires the use of TWO supercomputers. She feeds specialized data and algorithmic parameters into this computer, flips a switch, and gets a map that only VAGUELY resembles a human thumbprint. Then she studies this map, seeks patterns in the data streams, and makes a calculated guess, which often turns out to be absolutely right.

And that took me almost seven years to understand. And I wondered why she always had this odd look on her face when I said “So, how was work?”

And yet I realize that I am only a fraction more bright than the average Internet user, which makes me only a fraction brighter than a client who wants a website built for a business or program or school or service. I know why they want something to just “work” or just “be secure.” It’s because for most folks out there surfing away on the Web (which is located ON the Internet, by the way), the Internet may indeed be run by small gnomes with calculators. They don’t know. They might like to know, but only if that information is presented in a manner in which they, in their everyday lives, will comprehend.

For the yarn store saleslady, the web is a skein of yarn, hopelessly entangled. For the realtor, it’s rows of houses in an endless loop. For porno film-makers, it’s…um….wellllll….

Okay, I think I’ve made my point.

Thomas (Tom) Stephan | Director of Something Clever
BoDo Author | Dyer Straits

You thought PITA was bad? Try PICA!

“The client is always right, even when they have no defined vision.”

This is a fun constant in the design world, and when it works in favor of the designer, they profit by the bucketload, either in billable hours or, in the case of in-housers, the six-day design vacation at your desk as the boss frets whether the font color should be white or green.

But that fun comes to an end quickly when you hear the phrase, “I don’t know what I like, but I’ll know it when I see it.” Perhaps you’ve never actually heard those words, but I have….I heard them with the boss standing behind me, hands folded, waiting for me to crack open the file and start designing. Their beady little eyes, staring at the back of your head, searching for flakes from dry scalp…the horror…THE HORROR!

Sorry…flashback.

Where was I? Oh, oh yeah, as I write for BoDo, I think to myself “Well, this must be great, a design business online! No back-of-head staring, no hemming and hawing meetings, how paradisiacal (it’s a word, trust me) can THAT be?

And then it occurs to me that online collaboration has the potential to be ten times worse.

“But Tom,” you ask, marveling at my genius and innate sex appeal while simultaneously wondering if I’ll ask you to hang out with me “Why would that be worse?”

And the answer is…PICA.

Ah yes, PICA, the worst of all online design diseases. PICA is subtle and insidious, like belly-button lint and fingerprints on your glasses. Suddenly it’s all over you and it won’t stop.

A relative of PiTA, PICA attacks unexpectedly and viciously, grinding you to a halt. PICA: Passive-aggressive Internet Conflict Avoidance. Like a plague it seeps through your emails, with such phrases as “Please make ten variations and email them.” And “We’re going into a meeting and we’re going to discuss this very issue,” and my personal favorite. “It’s still on somebody else’s desk.”

Here’s how it starts: They ask, you design, they look, they like it but they don’t like it and they either don’t know how to criticize or they designed this really cool logo with a swish in it and they’ve been sending you telepathic messages and you won’t listen to them. So you email them with a “Just touching base with you,” and they freeze up. They believe that if they say “we hate your ideas,” then there’s a possibility of the designer getting huffy and quitting, thus restarting the process. They ALSO know that given the advent of technology, the ability to stall people on decision-making has virtually quintupled. And as a result, all they have to do is stall you. You can’t prove that they’re stalling. You’re not likely to show up in person, and the worst that can happen is that you call and get the message machine.

Online services are indeed the wave of the future, but riding atop that wave is a whole herd of PICAs hungry to sludge your creative pipes. BE VIGILANT! Be wary, B-postive.

’nuff said.

Thomas (Tom) Stephan | Director of Something Clever
BoDo Author | Dyer Straits

So, you’ve had a momentary lapse of reason and decided to forgo the regular paycheck in favor of starting your own business. Welcome to the club. Being in business for yourself can be a WILD ride, so fasten those seat belts.

BoDo is here to (hopefully) make that ride a little smoother. We’ve all had our triumphs as well as tribulations. We plan on sharing all the ins and outs. The ups and downs. As well as the in betweens.

Quoting Creative Coach and visiting author Mark McGuinness from Wishful Thinking

To run a successful design business you need to be more than a great designer. You need to be an accountant, manager, negotiator, salesperson, marketer, presenter, networker, copywriter, debt collector, strategist, intellectual property developer and more. You need to be comfortable dealing with people, money, technology and sometimes even the law.

Take advantage of programmes on offer to help you develop these skills. Make use of resources like BoDo where you can learn from others’ expertise and experience. Read books, ask questions - do whatever it takes. Commit to learning these business skills - they are tools for turning your creative talent into creative success.

In our first series, BoDo Niblets: Starting Out and Setting Up, we will cover the bare basics. The series will be just a nibble, an intro, a bite of what BoDo will bring. Later posts will go into more detail on the running a successful design business.

We’ll also be introducing team members, visiting authors (like Mark), and a few odd friends who’ll stop by on occasion.

Below is the outline of the series. For each subject there will be joining posts, BoDo Experience. It’s where a few of us dig back into our start-up days.

Are You Ready?

Do you have enough experience (both with design and running a small business) to start your own design company?

Taking it Personally

Are you an independent self-starter, disciplined loner, superb marketeer, multi-tasking monk? Or do you feel more comfortable working mainly in-house, surrounded by living, breathing flesh?

Clients, Oh My!

How many clients do you need to get started?

Where’s the Money, Honey?

How much ready cash does it take to leap?

Location, Location, Location

Decisions, decisions … Will you rent office space, or work out of the home? Will you work on-site or via the Internet?

How Equipped Are You?

Can you start with the bare basics, or do you need the bells and whistles?

Who’s (ac)Counting now?

You’ve got the clients. You’ve got the projects. What kind of invoicing will you need?

A Recap of the Starting Out and Setting Up series

So, how’d we do?

Thanks for stopping by,
The BoDo Team
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